Many divorce lawyers find that once a divorce has been finalized, some men wonder how they should carry on. In trying to create a new normal, attorneys see many newly-single men going about things in the wrong way, making their adjustment to single life harder than it has to be.
Guys, if you have just been granted a divorce, take these words of wisdom offered by experienced divorce attorneys who have helped many people in the same position. Avoid the mistakes listed below that lawyers often see happen and you will be better able to bounce back sooner and easier.
Mistake #1 - Dating Again Too Soon
Loneliness and sadness is a common and normal reaction divorce lawyers see with their male clients after a divorce is finalized. Yet one of the biggest mistakes that many men make is trying to jump right into a new relationship before they have healed emotionally and are truly ready for one.
Attorneys counsel their male clients to avoid this major pitfall and the many problems that it can bring by waiting a while before beginning to date again. Psychologists recommend waiting at least two years and even then, inform those you date that you are getting past a divorce and should move slowly in the relationship. You will avoid a “rebound” relationship that may not actually suit you and then be more prepared for one that you will want to commit to.
Mistake #2 - Introducing New Partners to Kids Too Soon
The second part of waiting to date is waiting to introduce your kids to a new partner. Divorce attorneys can attest to the fact that even though you may be happy to be dating again, your children may not be happy about it. To prevent confusion and other problems between you and your children, lawyers recommend waiting to introduce a new partner until you know you are serious about the relationship and see a future with your new partner.
Divorce lawyers stress that you should avoid introducing your kids to those you are casually dating, as meeting multiple people over a period of time can become especially confusing or worrisome for your children.
Mistake #3 - Isolating Yourself
The other road that many divorce attorneys see some men take is one that isolates themselves rather than one that helps them eventually get back into dating. Whether you want to date again or not, avoid becoming isolated as this may cause you to harbor bad feelings and not give yourself a chance to recover from the divorce.
As many lawyers have seen, isolation can even lead to alcohol problems, depression, and other concerns. To avoid that, expand your social circle and stay active with friends, family, and especially your children.
Mistake #4 - Not Taking Your Parenting Seriously
It is critical that you step up to be a good parent to your children, now more than ever before. Even if you were not previously the main caregiver during your marriage, attorneys stress that maintaining a positive relationship with your kids requires you to become a full-time parent when you are with them.
Avoid being the dad who tries too hard to keep his kids happy by making every visit a special occasion filled with fun. Instead, psychologists recommend that you take a greater interest in their day-to-day lives that includes school, homework, and how they are feeling. In addition, foster a good relationship with your kids by avoiding hostility with your former spouse that makes you look like an enemy.
Divorce attorneys understand that moving on after a divorce can be unsettling for many men. To get through the healing and rebuilding process more easily, lawyers recommend going slowly and giving yourself some time. As you do, you will find yourself settling into your life again and more able to accept the changes that come after a divorce. Most importantly, divorce lawyers agree that by avoiding the common mistakes listed above, you will be able to build a positive relationship with your kids and feel better about yourself as well!
Reynaldo Garza, III
680 East St. Charles St, Suite 600
Brownsville TX 78520
Meetings With Attorney By Appointment Only
1393 East Alton Gloor Blvd, Suite 12
Brownsville TX 78526